The Gap

“Step 4) Loosen the lower alternator mounting bolt”

Got it.  No problem — I’ll just loosen the alternator mounting bolt and be cruising my way onto step 5 and healthy charging.  See, I’ve had intermittent charging problems with my Rabbit as of late, and I think it’s owed to the fact that my old V-belt had more missing teeth than Cletus The Slack Jawed Yokel.   So, turning to my trusty Bentley manual for 1980-1984 Volkswagen Rabbits, I read up on the simple 6-step method to remove one’s alternator and replace and tighten their V-belt.

So, Step 4, time to loosen that alternator mounting bolt.  Right.  Let’s just get on tha whaaaaa??  Do they mean the tiny hex that’s buried under a half inch of sludge, nested in the dark corners between the A/C Compressor and engine block?  The one that requires a human with seven-jointed fingers to access it?  Yeah, that’s the one.

Which brings me to the problem that, as a journeyman home mechanic, I’ve encountered numerous times since undertaking heavier duty projects (I know, belts are that “heavy duty”) — there’ s an education and literature gap that exists between feel-good books like “Automotive Repair for Dummies” and the erudite, elitist writing of the workshop manuals.  At a critical point in a person’s automotive education, they graduate beyond “Working on cars may seem scary but you can do it!” into a world of stuck parts, stripped screws, and bleeding knuckles, and there’s nowhere to turn.  Well, you could always take a gamble on the forums…

So, what are your options: 

Bentley Manual: “Loosen the alternator mounting bolt”

Dummies: “Alternators recharge your car’s battery.  If your battery is no longer holding a charge, and you’ve ruled out loose connections, bring your car to the local repair facility”

Forums: “bro are u sure you have the right altnernator because i worked on a westy rabbit once and it didnt have the york type AC compressor but the bracket was still lose.  u jsut need to get under the grommet but behind the washer and use a little force.  itll pop right off lol cheers mate.”

Toothless!

Eventually, I got the alternator off (or loose enough), the new belt on and tightened, and so far the charging is good.  I also replaced the rusted out ground strap with a big ol 4ga. steel strap, just in case.  A simple 6-step procedure  took me all day.  I’m dreading if I ever get to a serious, 22-step task in the manual that’s detailed in more than just a few simple sentences.

So what I’m saying is, won’t someone write a book that tells the home mechanic how to remove and install every nut and bolt of every component for every car ever made?

 

The Wrenching Menace

I am the person who perfectly exemplifies what professionals think of when they hear “home mechanic”.  A stubborn novice who thinks mechanics are a waste of money, who thinks there’s nothing you can’t do from home, and who ultimately renders his or her car completely incapacitated by means of a furious blow from a wrench.  The kind of person they would advise to “Please stop.  Take your car in before you kill somebody”. 

 

See – I was changing my oil (easy enough for a first timer), and caught up in the spirit and gusto of ‘gettin er done’, thought I’d double the man-wager and replace my fuel filter.  The fuel filter is a simple maintenance part that screws into either end of the fuel line and, well, filters your fuel.  In an uneducated and rushed manuever, I started wrenching the banjo bolts at either end of the fuel filter (banjo bolts are bolts with a hole in them to allow liquids to pass through the connection).   While one end came off fine, the other posed a considerable challenge to loosen.   The whole unit was moving under the torque of the wrench, and I couldn’t hold it still due to its cylindrical shape.

 

Quiz Time

 

Now let’s stop here and observe the below image.  Pretend the banjo bolt on the left-hand side is still connected to the fuel line.  Given the above predicament, which solution would you recommend?

Notice the dents and scratches…

A) Savagely beat the fuel filter with your wrench, eventually torquing so hard on the entire unit that you snap off the steel fuel line and break your car, or

B) Use a second wrench at the base of the connection in order to loosen the nut 

 

Oh man you mean it wasn’t A?  Are you sure?  Cause I chose A.  

 

As I mentioned, I am the perfect example of the terrible menace that is the home mechanic.  Though the answer was obvious, I opted for the ’absolutely no thinking’ method of solving the problem.  In fact, it still hadn’t occurred to me.  The next day I was explaining my predicament to an ex-mechanic friend of mine, and the first thing he asked was ”What, you didn’t just use a second wrench?”.  “Of course not!”, I said, “I think I would’ve noticed if there was a place to… ohhh”. 

 

40 bucks later and a part in the mail, I can reflect on this moment and try to learn from it.  I still believe it’s possible to do (almost) everything at home, but it’s going to require more brain power and patience than one thinks.  I suppose if everything could be solved by wrench beat-downs, professional mechanics wouldn’t have much of a business.

 

Cardboard: The new duct tape

I should open up an auto body shop.  Who needs welders when you’ve got cardboard to solve your automotive troubles!

Ever since I bought the GTI I’ve had this nasty exhaust rattle that drives me crazy.  My friend and I figured the exhaust pipe was shaking under WOT against the bottom of the rear bumper.  The clearance was like 1cm; a reasonable striking distance of exhaust shakage.

Problem was, the exhaust is suspended by a rubber hanger that’s fixed to two welded points; one on the frame, one on the muffler.  So I needed to make some space between the rubber hanger and the frame.  You can see here; that hanger is happily not letting go of those two hooks:

Enter Cardboard

So I devised (tore off) some little cardboard shims (folded cardboard) that I could insert between the welded hooks and the rubber hanger, thereby granting a tiny bit of clearance between muffler and bumper.  Yes, cardboard is flammable.  I know this.  But even while running hot, the area around the rubber hanger does not reach paper-burning temperatures.

Installation

If only all auto repairs were this easy.  I just pulled down the muffler, creating gaps between the hanger and hook, and slipped in the cardboard shims.  The tension on the rubber hanger holds the cardboard in place.

Before and After

It doesn’t look like much, but those extra couple millimeters have resolved my annoying muffler vibration.  Plus, the cardboard acts as a shock absorber and prevents excess travel into the bumper.  I can go full throttle, rattle-free.

Before

After

Work Complete

I estimate this job took me 13 minutes.  At Tim’s Auto Body, you would be charged for the full hour.

Agent Sea Foam

For those of us who feel guilty for not having the time or knowledge to actually fix our cars, we can find respite at Kragen with a shelf full of automotive panaceas in the form of fuel additives.  Most are advertised to restore lost power, improve fuel economy, and replace your burnt out tail light.  If you’re lucky, you’ll see some fat horsepower gains OMG!!  And although I’m a skeptic, I fall into that bracket of people who come home after a long day of work, give a guilty glance at their car, and go upstairs to play WoW.

So I bought some Sea Foam to treat my old 84 Rabbit GTI.  I’d like to think that Sea Foam was a cut above the other super serius race breed of fuel injector zaniness, if not for the bevy of supporting forum posts, then for the dire warnings on the back of the can.  Anything that says “Exhaust fumes will be extreme for a short period” has got my money. 

This can is all business

So I bought two cans and did the full treatment: First can went into the fuel tank after a fill up like any other additive — I didn’t notice much improvement after running a full tank of the stuff.  Second can was the more serious operation, with half of it going into my engine oil, and the other half going directly into my vacuum system.  The latter procedure was the most extreme, but actually provided a noticeable benefit.  Here’s the procedure:

Step 1: With vehicle running, find suitable vacuum hose that feeds into the intake manifold

Step 2: After transferring to a clean, clear container, use vacuum line to suck Sea Foam into the system

Step 3: Poison your neighborhood

Results

Yeah, so the Sea Foam guys weren’t lying — exhaust was extreme.  People in the neighborhood were perplexed (“his car is on fire and he’s taking pictures of it?”), so I quickly drove out of there.  While making my escape, I noticed some real improvements.

I’m trying to be objective here and avoid the common “effort in must equal reward” factor, but I really did notice improvement in engine smoothness and a more linear RPM “decay curve”.  Where normally the GTI would stutter a bit after shifting up and releasing the clutch, or takeup would be a little rough, the whole process goes down with less complaining. 

Conclusion

Unfortunately, the old VW doesn’t drive any faster.  But honestly, any 1% variance in horsepower is outside of my vague butt-dyno accuracy.  I still need to change the oil now that it’s been seafoamed, so it’s possible there are more long term benefits to be unlocked.

While it may not be the automotive panacea, the GTI generally runs better and complains less; I would recommend Sea Foam (especially the vacuum line treatment).  And more importantly, $9 at Kragen and an hour of my morning just bought me a couple weeks of guilt free WoW.

Garage Space is Limited

This is the titular “One Car Garage” I use to store and work on my Rabbit GTI.  This might look like a pretty cool garage, but work space is quite limited, the ground slopes, and well… I have problems working on my car in a shared space.  Maybe it’s a security issue or a privacy thing, but there’s something very discomforting about sticking your head under the car, leaving everything exposed to malicious surprise attacks.  It freaks me out.

Anyway, using Virtual Reality MSPaint technology, I can show you just how limited of space I’m working in.  In fact, it looks like I’m out of bounds here:

Warning! Vehicle out of bounds!

 

The VW, Saddlin up next to the neighbors Altima

So you see, this garage space is deceptively tiny and not very cool, making it difficult to perform any serious work on the vehicle.  On top of that, I’ve already had a talkin’ to about the amount of stuff I’ve crammed into the tiny space (that motorcycle is within the boundaries!).  Some day I dream of having a cool garage, like this one I found after doing a Google image search of “Cool Garage”.   Here’s the link.

Don't you dare get that floor dirty!

Indeed this is a cool garage.  A cool garage that looks like it’s never been used and never will be, except to watch cool Pixar movies.

Cars around SF

When hanging around San Francisco, one will spot a variety of classic vehicles, often owned as daily drivers since parking makes it nigh impossible to garage one car while driving another.  This means you’ll see a lot of cool cars that probably shouldn’t be parked out on the street; exposed to pigeon and human attackers.  It’s great fun to see what you can find out there — I kind of want to make a Scavenger Hunt for cars around the city.  Here’s two of note that I spotted around Japantown.

BMW 2002 tii (~1973)

The orange coat of paint was brilliant and deep, and unfortunately not captured well on my cell camera.  The tii version is the highest performance version of the BMW 2002, and consequently the most sought after.   The tii came with a 130 hp, 4 cylinder engine, which for the time was pretty impressive.   In addition to the extra power, you also bigger wheels, bigger brakes, and some appearance mods that generally plussed up the offer.  Special note — I love the giant American bumpers that were tacked onto this 2002.  See my previous “I Hate Big Bumpers…” post.

Volkswagen Type 1 (~1956)

Wow.  This thing looked good.  The exterior body and paint was immaculate, and the interior looked halfway done with a restoration.  I’m no Beetle expert, but I’m guessing this fella was at least a 1956, and probably had a 40hp engine that did 0-60 in several days.

A little history: The VW Type 1 was kicked off by Dr. Ferdinand Porsche (of Porsche) under direction from Hitler, and was his solution to providing an economical car to the German citizen.  Unfortunately things didn’t get off to such a great start — in pre-war times, the only way to get your VW was by earning enough stamps through a kooky Hitler savings program (more on the Beetle history here) — and it wasn’t until a few years post-war that the car gathered a global appeal.  Well, it certainly appeals to me.

Want to drive... so bad...

Dangerous Air in the GTI

Apparently the old GTIs like to get airborne, as shown in this VW commercial from 1984.

Ach Mein Leipen!

Despite the standard “hey stupid; don’t do this” government warning at the bottom of the screen, Volkswagen is clear in the applied use of the GTI:  It’s a cornering, oversteering, German jumping car.  There’s no word of comfort, practicality or safety in this commercial, nor should there be.

Best part is, the entire thing is scored with a “Kleiner GTI” surf rock song, basically a German version of “Little GTO” by Ronnie and Daytonas.  But hey, it’s a theme song! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zcm4oS9IaM&feature=related

Perhaps this zany commercial set the precedent for uninformative, irreverent GTI marketing — remember this guy from the MkV ads?

German Engineering, in da houuuuse

Maybe we should go back to jumping GTIs.

Project Rabbit: Headliner Horrors

Up until this morning, my Rabbit had a dandruff problem.  It would rain down moldy bits of the headliner on passengers and me, like little brown spores that cling to your bronchial tubes.  Possibly not the highest priority fix for the car, but certainly the least appealing feature from a pulmonary perspective.

So I endeavored to remove and replace the headliner.   The task was not as easy as I predicted.

Yum!

Removal

First step was to take out the rotten headliner board.  It was fastened in by surprisingly few connections, which makes me nervous about reinstallation.   It came detached from the ceiling, and slid out the back hatch.   I did a preliminary brillo-pad scrub of the cardboard headliner and deemed it salvageable.

It's still good! Still good!

Cleaning

Then came the moldy foam that was between the headliner and the roof.  This gnarly mess had been glued to the metal of the roof, and therefore wouldn’t peel away as one would expect foam liner to do.  It required vigorous sanding, shooting little fibrous bits of moldfoam into the interior of the car and into my nose.   But hey, no more dander!

Spores be gone!

Replacement

Not today.  Oh man.  Since the fabric was utterly shot, I’m headed to a fabric store this weekend and my wife and I will pick out a cool material.  I’ll try to adhere it to the board, get some new foam from this Century, and stick it back up there.

So, aside from little tangles of headliner stuck in my nose, I’d say job successful.  Next time I’ll wear a dust mask.

Project Rabbit: Baker Beach Photoshoot and To-do List

It’s going slow with the DIY restoration of my 84 VW Rabbit.  Since the car is driving like such a champ, I haven’t been pressed to get under the hood.  This car is a blast — I’ve never had so much fun driving so slow.

Anyway, as a preamble to working on the car, I just took some more pictures of it, and sorted out my list of tasks for this weekend:

• Remove and replace gnarly, gnarly, headliner
• Coolant flush
• Fuel Filter replace
• Solve dropping idle/stalling problem
• Solve rear muffler rattle
• Bleed rear brakes

Shadow troubles

Parked at Baker Beach

Bored wife in the passenger seat = not pro photography

This weekend I hope to reach level 8 in Manliness (level cap is 85).

New VW Bulli/Bus/Van Plays it Safe

I promise not to get much into concept car dissections, but I wanted to say a few things about the recently revealed New VW Bus.

VW have redesigned and tried to recapture the classic Microbus (or Type-2 Transporter as it’s officially and clinically known), and ultimately delivered a lackluster non-event that plays it too safe.   Not that classic rehashes of cars should look exactly like their predecessors, but certainly there are key elements you have to retain in order to keep some recognizability.   Aside from the badge, what’s telling you this is a VW and not the next Scion or Ford Flex?

At least they kept the big "VW" badge

Spot the differences

Let’s redo the concept, but find a tasteful way to work in the following defining features of a VW Bus:

1) Round headlights. Come on.  As next-gen and forward as the slim euro headlights are, the classic Volkswagen demands circular headlights.  Save those slim lights for the new Audi.

2) The White Swoosh. Carry it all the way to the front bumper.  They sort of half-assed it here.  The swoosh is there, but carefully stops it’s journey to the front bumper short of the grille.  My guess here is the large front bumper (necessary for pedestrian safety laws) would offset the graphic and make it look skewed from any perspective other than head-on

3) Flat(ish) windscreen.  Again, maybe a necessity to keep the car somewhat aero dynamic.  It is an EV afterall, and the mileage is an important selling point.

4) Sweet side action venting. No excuse here.  It doesn’t matter that the engine is no longer rear-mounted — those vents are instantly recognizable and kinda tough.

5)  camping/touring variants such as the pictured “Samba” edition of the VW with ingenious “Vista Dome”  viewports.

So here, Volkswagen; using my pro MSPaint skills I fixed it for you:

Fixed!

Link to the article:

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/driveon/post/2011/02/volkswagen-bulli-microbus/1